North Korea, Best Korea!
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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