Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
