my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
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