I wish I could punch you in the face.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Randomize
