I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
