I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
