He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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