He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
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