Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
