ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
