TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
