In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
