Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize