return my video game
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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