There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Randomize
