The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
