We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize
