I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Randomize
