If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
