Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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