He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I can't put those talents on a resume
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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