everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
