then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
