i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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