Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Every concussion has its silver lining
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
