how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
it's like iHOP with fire
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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