OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize
