Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
