Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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