grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
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