We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
My feet surprised me
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
