You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
how drunk are you?
Several
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
