hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Why are your pants in the freezer?
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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