I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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