I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
