dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
