party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
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