My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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