I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Randomize
