You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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