HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
