Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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