I should be sponsored by Trojan
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
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