just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
