Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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