oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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