I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
May the power of my ass compel you!!
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
