I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
He kissed a someone with a penis
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
