Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
