i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
