how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Randomize
