he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Girls should come with a carfax report
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
