So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
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