How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I'm always down for nudity.
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