I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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