Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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