Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
