We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
