AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Randomize
