you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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