i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
