a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I just googled if crying burns calories
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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