how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Randomize
